A Blog From Inside a Lavatory

Warning: This blog post deals with a peeing experience in a movie theater lavatory. If you happen to come here via search engines, web links, RSS feeds or directly entering the domain address of the site on the address bar of the web browser, I want to remind you that this might not be a very interesting topic to you. So you can avoid reading it.

It’s not unusual when you have to stand in a queue. A queue could be anywhere: in petrol pump (gas station) or temple or, as it happened with me this evening, a lavatory. It was the interval watching a disappointing Indian (Bollywood) movie called Om Shanti Om in Jay Nepal theater. I had drunk two cups of coffee before the going in front of the screen. That was really at the front. I couldn’t get tickets for more convenient place at the rear and I didn’t feel like returning from theater without watching the much hyped movie I ended up in a seat on second row from the front. I was worried about my neck but, as of now (after about five hours from the end of the show), just like any other necks: fit and fine.

So I was talking about standing in a queue in the lavatory. By the interval of the film, the coffee had all come to the urinary bladder which was finding it very difficult to hold the urine. My habit is that I always store the urine up to the limit. I only go to the lavs only when I must (that is when I feel that if I don’t go, my urinary bladder might blow up because of the pressure). Today it wasn’t actually like that but holding that for another one and half hour would be impossible. So I needed to pee.

There was a huge crowd inside the lav. There were four or five commodes and people were standing in equal number of queues in front of them. Five or six people were in each queue. Hmm, what was the choice? I selected the one that had four people (by the time I decided). A man came behind me. We were six. Another man finished urinating and there were four! What do I do? Go over there or wait here? I decided for the later. Finally, there were two guys ahead of me. Okay, the first guy started. No there is only one ahead of me who hasn’t opened his pants. Then, at that unfortunate point in time, the phone rang. And it wouldn’t stop. The man, first man in our queue who was peeing, had no choice it appeared, but to pick up the phone. He received the phone, started talking but stopped peeing. And he wasn’t moving from the queue either. He was standing there, right in front of the commode, zipper of his pant probably still open because I assumed he done with urinating, and he was talking. I started thinking. When will this conversation finish, he starts peeing and the man next to him will get chance to micturate and I do the same.

In about a minute, thank goodness, the conversation came to an end and the man started the more urgent business. Then the man immediately ahead of me got his turn.

By then, there were already three people behind me. Immediately after me was a kid followed by his father. I now started to feel the pressure. Can I do it quickly or will I take it forever to finish the job? I mean how can you urinate under such pressure? I usually take long to urinate because, I have mentioned earlier, I store a lot.

My turn finally came. I opened the zipper while I was very much aware about the fact that people were standing behind me and the only thing they were thinking about at that point was when would I get over with it.

Yes, it was over, what a double relief (of excretion and of doing that relatively quickly).

I originally planned to write my impression of the movie but, just like the story of the film, the plan ended in a surprise blog post (for myself). I might post my impression tomorrow.